Lunch with Ms Haruno
by AnimateObsessive
Summary: Kakashi has a very interesting lunch with Sakura. Note: Set in an alternate timeline in which Sakura did not marry Sasuke and instead became immensely successful at the hospital. The characters are the same ages as they are in "Boruto: The Movie".


Kakashi blinked, unsure he'd heard Sakura correctly. It wouldn't be the first time in recent memory he'd done this. For reasons that escaped him, he seemed to be constantly mishearing the woman, even though he wasn't quite old enough to be experiencing hearing trouble. When she said things along the lines of "Kakashi, please have _lunch_ with me", he seemed to hear something entirely different.

Ironically, he was having lunch with her at this very moment. And also at this very moment, he could have sworn she had said something utterly ridiculous. But he must have misheard.

"Kakashi, I think we should get…."

"… _...better acquainted."_

"… _.out of here."_

"… _.some fresh air."_

"… _...out of the house more."_

"…..married."

Kakashi wrapped his hand around his glass. It was cold and smooth against his bare fingers. The weather had turned frigid in the night. An emerald scarf was wrapped around his neck, even though he barely felt the cold air. The scarf was the exact same shade of green as Sakura's eyes, he had momentarily noted as he retrieved it. He liked Sakura's eyes. He liked having lunch with her ever so often. But today he was frowning.

"What...did you say?" he asked, slowly and quietly.

His food had cooled off several minutes ago. This was perfectly fine with him. He hadn't been planning to eat. He preferred to talk. Sakura had a lot to say, about her life, about her work at the hospital, and about her past. He was always willing to listen. He loved her stories, as tragic as some of them might be.

Sakura was leaning over her own bowl of cold food, her eyes searching the contents as if they might rescue her. Her gaze would not meet his, even though she could feel that familiar stare burning into her. At one time, she'd been terrified of her sensei's stares. But life had taught her that there were worse things than Kakashi's stares. She had learned that Kakashi himself could do worse than stare into a person's soul.

"I said we should get married," Sakura responded composedly.

She wasn't wearing any of her make-up, Kakashi noticed for the first time. He did not mind, though. He thought she didn't need to wear make-up to begin with. He didn't understand women and their seemingly fanatic desire to paint over reality. Or perhaps he had merely grown tired of facades and secretly detested even the most harmless of illusions.

"I don't understand," Kakashi replied after a moment. "What are you saying?"

He thought back to that time, that time less than a week ago, when Sakura had looked him in the eye and requested they have lunch together. Her face had shown an odd reluctance, as if she was partly ashamed of herself for asking the question, as if she feared stern reprisal. But there was no reason for her to be hesitant. Of course he said yes, and he enjoyed seeing her face light up. Yet she had sighed, almost in quiet surrender, at his reply. He thought back to the words he had thought she had spoken, the brief confusion that had gone across his mind in that one terrible moment of wondering before he decided she had said something else.

"I want to marry you," Sakura uttered, her voice remaining calm.

 _Carry?_ Kakashi thought, scowling. _She wants to carry me? Carry me where?_

The thought of being carried in Sakura's arms like a princess wasn't appealing to him. He thought it sounded altogether too much like a fairytale, except with the roles reversed. He didn't like fairytales. They were another darkness to obscure the facts of existence.

"Sakura-chan, isn't it too early in the day for you to be drunk?" Kakashi pointed out, smiling.

Sakura turned her head sharply to face him, gazing at him directly for the first time. Her resolve had its last chance to melt in the heat of his stare, but she wouldn't allow it. In the end, she was only what she wanted, what she really wanted more than anything else. It was all she knew how to be.

"Kakashi-san, please marry me," Sakura uttered, her voice loud and confident. "I want us to get married. I want to live with you. I want to have your children."

Kakashi's smile disappeared, his expression overtaken by surprise. He realized it was indeed extremely cold outside. A bitter, relentless frost that clung to the air around them, burrowing its way underneath his clothes. He realized that neither him nor Sakura had eaten. He realized that Sakura had barely said a word since they sat down, had only offered a series of unfinished thoughts by way of conversation during their long walk. He realized that, a long time ago, he'd looked into the eyes of a 12-year-old girl and wondered if she would ever become a real kunoichi.

"You have no idea what you want," Kakashi told her quietly. "You have no idea what you're saying."

And he had no idea what he was doing, arguing with her. He could have stood up and fled, leaving her to come to her senses. But somehow he remained seated, willing to oppose her ludicrous requests without fear or hesitation. He _wanted_ to argue with her.

"Do you _really_ believe that?" Sakura retorted challengingly.

Kakashi didn't like how Sakura was looking at him. She was searching his face as if she thought his emotions would freely manifest themselves. She was trying to _read_ him, and he had the uncomfortable feeling that, regardless of how indifferent his features were, she would find whatever she was looking for.

"I believe you're still a naive child to some degree," Kakashi replied. "The world isn't going to bow at your feet and neither am I."

Sakura wrapped both hands around her glass. It was nearly empty. She hadn't touched her food, but she had drained most of her drink in two minutes. She wished she had left it for later, as her mouth felt a bit dry. Her abundant confidence had seemingly been spent. She had receded back into the part of her mind she disliked.

"I don't expect the world to bow at my feet," she uttered, her tone one of cold admittance. "That's never what I wanted, even when I was young. I just wanted to feel as if being in love was worth it. Haven't you ever wanted to feel like that, Kakashi-san?"

Kakashi didn't answer the question. He didn't have an answer, nor was his mind equipped to come up with one.

"More importantly, how did you think I'd respond when you asked me a question like that?" Kakashi demanded, somewhat changing the subject.

Sakura grinned. She wasn't heartbroken in the slightest. If anything, she was amused. They were playing a very old game.

"I thought you'd be angry," Sakura revealed. "You hate this sort of thing."

What sort of thing? Kakashi wondered. Sudden declarations of love? Did not all people, or at least people of his type, dislike these? He didn't want declarations of love. He wanted lunches and laughter and peace.

"Come on, Kakashi-san!" Sakura urged, as if trying to talk him into a difficult purchase. "What do you have to lose?"

Everything. That lingering shred of normality. The portrait of a team long past he clung to out of dignified nostalgia. His mind, his body, and his sanity. Lunches with Sakura. He could lose so many things.

"Neither of us would be happy," Kakashi summed up his thoughts. "You love me the same way you love Naruto-kun. Your devotion to me is friendly and sympathetic, not romantic or even sexual."

Sakura laughed, a sharp and bitter mirth. She wished Kakashi could see into her thoughts. He would have found it most interesting to observe how right, yet how wrong he was about everything. But she didn't blame him for his ignorance. He'd been wrong about her since the day they met.

"Are you that desperate for things to remain the same?" Sakura asked.

He was, but he didn't admit it. There was no need for him to.

"There's no future I can give you," Kakashi replied instead. "I've retired. I have no dreams, no prospects for tomorrow, no goals I desperately need to meet. All I have is my mind and my body."

Sakura's hand twitched, as if aching to reach for Kakashi's. But even as she became her affection, she was not foolish. Her hand dropped into her lap, a tender smile on her features.

"You also have me," Sakura reminded him gently.

Naruto was always busy with his work. Sasuke had withdrawn into his own corner of solitude with his dutiful bride and child. Sakura alone remained, giving away her smiles and her laughter because she knew how much it meant to Kakashi. She knew how, despite everything, the only thing he truly wanted to do was inhale her sunshine.

"You were kind of right earlier," Sakura continued. "I have no idea what I want. I have no idea what I'm saying. I don't fully understand my own feelings. But I understand...why you like being around me. Why even if I say I love you and want to be with you forever, you'll fight against it to your last breath."

She seized her glass and raised it to her lips. Her throat was no longer dry. She felt strong, knowing that she was speaking her mind. She was being honest with herself. She was giving in.

"It's not just memories, is it?" Sakura surmised. "It's all those other things you don't want to think about."

The liquid she poured down her throat was tasteless. When she had first sat down with a hot bowl of food and the drink, it had tasted like something. Now it slid past her tongue without leaving a trace. She could have been drinking her own thoughts.

"Kakashi-san, I love you," Sakura uttered abruptly. "I want to be with you forever."

She returned her glass to the table. It was empty. It was the only part of the meal she had actually partaken in and it made her a bit sad. But she stood up, as if she had successfully ended the conversation. She was staring at Kakashi with patience. She was daring him to retort, daring him to stand up and chase after her as she departed. As she expected, he did not move. Sakura turned and left swiftly, without looking back.

Kakashi stared at the empty glass. He pictured Sakura as he hoped she would be until the end of his life: Happy, laughing, drinking, smiling. Happy to be with him, laughing at her own stories, drinking beside him, and smiling at him. Her pink hair pulled back into a ponytail, her fingernails painted a warm shade of green, her cheeks aglow with life. And forever striving to become more of what she had been, more of what she was to him and everyone around her.

" _Kakashi-san, I think we should get married,"_ she had stated.

Kakashi wasn't going to chase after her. He wasn't going to bow at her feet. He was going to smile, he was going to laugh, and he was going to think about his future. It hadn't occurred to him before, but he might still have one waiting for him.


End file.
